With the exception of university, where everyone is technically flung from the safety of their parent’s nest, I’ve been a real life adult for approximately 10 years now. To say I’ve been through some rocky times would be an understatement, many an unhealthy relationship, friendship breakdown and barely making ends meet – but I’d say that’s given me a pretty good base to dish out some advice to others who also want to be able to live an independent life.
01 // Be Comfortable With Being Alone
I’ve always been the kind of person that enjoys my own company – but it’s something that I know a lot of people struggle with. I think being comfortable spending time alone (and enjoying it) is something that can help bring real inner peace. Not feeling FOMO constantly, or wondering what all your friends are doing is pretty key in becoming more settled and confident with yourself as a person. I love to spend ‘me-time’ chilling out – having long baths, catching up on my favourite shows, or indulging myself in one of my hobbies (namely blogging). I’d encourage everyone to do the same, step outside of the box and chances are you’ll probably find that you enjoy it.
02 // Rid The Toxic Relationships
Something I’ve had to do a couple of times over the last decade, is rid myself of toxic people. I’m a huge believer of cutting ties with toxic friends and would much rather surround myself with fewer people, knowing that those around me are loving and supportive. It’s sad to cut ties with old friends – particularly those you’ve been friends with for many years, as you feel a sense of loyalty and responsibility to always maintain the friendship. The reality is however, that your friendships should make you happy, always. If you’re questioning your friends (or partner), and feeling like they bring you down – then it might be time to reevaluate. Being independent means surrounding yourself with a strong support network that only ever lifts you up.
03 // Be Financially Independent
This is something that definitely takes time, and I’ll be the first to admit that this has been a difficult path for me – particularly when I first moved to London. My parents had to bail me out more than once when I hit a rough patch during the recession, but over time, and since building up my career, I’ve managed to get to a place of complete financial independence (and I don’t even have a credit card!). Being able to look back at where I came from, to where I am now fills me with a sense of real pride. I’m so grateful to my parents for always being there backstage to help if I needed, but being able to support myself is so very important to me and something I’ll always strive towards. From getting to this point now, I’ve learnt a lot along the way. It’s important to take control of your finances – use internet banking to keep an eye on your money, how much you’re spending and always try and put some money aside each month so that you can bail yourself out of your own emergencies. Keep on top of your bills, and know how to pay them. It’s so easy to turn a blind eye and go out and have a shopping spree – but if you know it’s going to be baked beans for the rest of the month if you do, then it’s important to be realistic, and responsible – and just wait until pay day rolls around again.
04 // Love Yourself
You should be the biggest believer in yourself. Know that you can do anything if you put your mind to it and learn how to identify when it’s time for change. If you’re unhappy, fix it. We all spend so much time feeling down on ourselves, whether it’s our job, appearance, or lack of money. Take charge and promote positivity! Eat well, go to bed at a decent time and take care of yourself – these all help to contribute to a better lifestyle, and a better you.
What are your tips for being more independent?